Couldn't Live Without You
by Sid-Nilos
Summary: With war raging around them aand people dying everyday, Lily Evans realizes something important. She can't live without James Potter, and she doesn't want to. But she doesn't know how to tell him...


**This is just a short JPxLE one-shot. It didn't turn out exactly how i planned, but that's okay. I was just thinking about war and looking at quotes about love and got inspired. I hope you like it!**

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_Love isn't finding someone you can live with, it's finding someone you can't live without. _

_You gotta take some chances, you gotta risk losing it all, you gotta close your eyes and leap because it might be worth the fall._

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War. It was something that brought people together, and tore people apart. It brought out peoples true colours. Made them realize who was really a friend, or if they had been fooled all along.

But most importantly, it showed who was really important to you. Who you would cry for if they died, who you would miss, who made your life feel complete. It made you realize who you couldn't live without.

That's what was running through my mind as I sat there staring at the fire in the Gryffindor common room.

It had been a hell of year, with Voldemort gaining even more power every day. You never knew what would come next. You were always asking yourself the same questions. Who would turn up dead next? Whose family would never be the same? What would you do if that happened to _your _family?

Those questions haunted me all the time. The mood inside Hogwarts has seriously dropped these last few months. Sometimes it didn't even feel like Hogwarts anymore.

There was one bright spot within all the darkness though. And it went by the name of James Potter.

I know what you're thinking. Lily Evans saying that _James Potter_ makes her feel better? The Lily Evans? The James Potter? When did that happen?

I smiled at the thought, almost laughing to myself. It was true though. I, Lily Evans, found James Potter tolerable. Well, more than tolerable. Ever since we ended up being Heads together, we had formed a close relationship. He was no longer the arrogant toe-rag he had been in fifth year. He had matured so much that my mouth had literally hung open at the first show of it.

It turned out that we worked well together, made a great team. Over the past few months we had just gotten closer and closer. I learned to love his sense of humour and everything that I had known about him before. But I had also come to see his bravery, his loyalty, and his devotion. I discovered what a great person he really was.

Now, you may be wondering why I'm sitting here, staring at the fire, thinking about James Potter…and that war makes you realize who you couldn't live without. Well, it's quite simple really, if you think about it. Figure it out yet? No? Really? Fine, I'll say it.

I had fallen for James Potter. I'd fallen for him hard.

I don't know when or how. I'd just come to see it over time.

I'd realized that after we finished this year, our seventh, I probably wouldn't see him again. And that upset me greatly.

I'd realized how much of an idiot I was for not seeing it before.

But most importantly? I'd realized that I didn't want to live without him. Couldn't live without him.

I couldn't live without seeing him smile at me, joke around with his friends, and going around, just being himself. I couldn't live without him being there for me.

But I didn't know what to do about it.

I had no idea if he felt the same way. I was worried that if I told him, he would say that he didn't. I'd rather stay friends with him and not tell him, than tell him and lose our friendship.

It was just one of those hard times in life where you had no idea what to. It could go either way and everything could change when it did.

I'd thought about talking to Remus, he was one of James' best friends and mine as well. He would understand. Hell, he would _help_. But I had no idea how to start and what to say.

I sighed, shaking my head. Why did life have to be so bloody complicated? I lied down of the couch, my eyes still on the bright flames of the fire. It was warm and comforting. I closed my eyes, trying to figure out what to do.

"Lily?" a voice called, pulling me into consciousness. I blinked and looked around. I had fallen asleep in front of the fire and everyone had left the common room. Everyone expect for the person in front of me that is. James.

I sat up, tucking my knees under my chin, staring at James. Now was a good of time as any…but what to say? James smiled and sat down next to me, twiddling with his fingers.

"You looked peaceful for a change. I almost didn't want to wake you up." James said softly, looking up from his hands and into my eyes. "But I figured you'd rather sleep in your own bed."

I smiled. "You're right, these pillows are bloody uncomfortable. I think we should get some new ones."

He laughed, but it quickly faded from his face. He looked almost…nervous. "Listen, there's something I need to talk to you about."

Odd. That's almost exactly what I was going to say. "Me too."

James looked up, a little bit of hope finding its way into his expression. He looked absolutely breath-taking. His black hair was sticking up here and there, falling into his eyes. His body, toned from quidditch, was strong and attractive. But his eyes were what held me. Those hazel eyes that burned through me every day, making me melt. They were bright and unwavering.

I mentally slapped myself. Now was not the time to be thinking about how good looking James Potter is.

James' voice broke through my thoughts. "You see…well…the thing is…I just…" He took a deep breath and sighed. "Bugger, this is hard. It really shouldn't be though…I'm just…argg."

I smiled at how frustrated he sounded. I knew I should be helping him, but it was just so fun to see him squirm. A quiet laugh escaped me.

He glared at me and muttered "Git." Then I really laughed…a real laugh. I was laughing so hard that I didn't notice him getting up and walking away.

"James! Wait!" I jumped up and grabbed his arm, spinning him around to face me. He was still glaring at me, looking a little hurt that I had laughed at him like that. Which made me feel terrible. "I wasn't laughing at you, just your expression. You looked so frustrated."

His eyes softened before quickly looking at his wrist. My hand was still wrapped around it. I quickly snatched it back, blushing a bit. Something flashed in his eyes. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was disappointment.

"I know," James sighed, going to sit back down. I followed him and sat down heavily. "I'm sorry. I just don't know how to say it…and-"

"Then let me say something." I cut him off. "Let me get something off my chest."

I gazed into the flames, not able to look him in the eye. I opened my mouth put nothing came out. Merlin, I'm a bloody coward. How on earth did I manage to land myself in Gryffindor?

I quickly glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. He was staring at me intently, like he could see right through me. I shivered on the inside: with nerves, and something else…

I sat up straight and turned toward him with a determined expression. He must have seen something in my eyes that hadn't been there before. An eyebrow went up as he looked at me. Even with what I was about to do in mind, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of annoyance. I had never been able to raise only one eyebrow, it was so frustrating.

"Lily, I-" James started to speak, but didn't quite finish. Because I had leaned forward and kissed him.

His body tensed and froze. I pulled away slowly, taking in his expression. His eyes were wide and mouth hung open a bit. I snorted, that's what I had looked like when I had seen how much he had changed.

"That's not exactly what I was going to tell you." I said dryly. "But you see, I'm a coward and I didn't know how to say it."

James just sat there staring at me, his eyes still wide and shocked.

I sighed. "You see James, I fancy you. A lot. I don't know what I'd do without you…I really don't. For the past few months, I've been thinking about the war and what would happen if anyone I cared about died." I shook my head, letting it all out. "And I realized that it something happened to you, I don't know if I could go on."

James opened his mouth, but I stopped him. "No, wait. I have to get this out. I don't just fancy…I-I love you."

His eyes widened even more. Emotions flashed through through them, ones I couldn't quite identify. Then he smashed his lips to mine. Mine closed and my hands automatically slid up into his hair, playing with the soft locks. He pulled me closer to him, deepening the kiss, until there was no space between us.

I couldn't believe it! James Potter was kissing me! And I was kissing him right back! It was wonderful, it was breathtaking…there was nothing better in the world!

He pulled back and rested his forehead against mine, breathing hard. His eyes were burning through me, filled with happiness. He reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "I love you too, Lily. I think I always have."

I smiled and kissed him again. This time it was slow and sweet. But just as great. "Really?"

James smiled widely. "Yup. I've been trying to tell you all year."

I pulled away from him and grabbed his hand. Our fingers twined automatically. I felt safe and incredibly happy. Happier than I had felt in a long time. "So, what were _you _going to tell me?"

"Oh," he laughed, his whole facing lighting up even more. He leaned forward again, staring at me with wonder. "Pretty much exactly what you told me."

"Oh," I whispered. That wasn't what I expected.

"Mhmmm." He nodded, tugging me even closer. "Who would've thought?"

"Nobody will believe it." I smiled again, running a hand through his soft hair.

"I don't know about that." James replied with a cheeky smile.

I snorted, which made him smile even more. "I guess we'll just have to see."

"I guess we will." He agreed. He captured my lips with his. And I felt myself melt. It was perfect.

Even if only for small moment, that little space in time, my worries faded. My thoughts and fears about the war were still there of course, but the bright spot had changed. It seemed even bigger now, bigger and brighter.

I knew that if I kept it in sight I wouldn't lose hope. Hope that everything would one day be alright. Hope that one day, it would all be over.

And that was what really mattered.

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**So, what'd you think? To be truthfully honest, I don't think it was all that great. But I still want to know your opinion, whatever it may be. :)**

**Hope you enjoyed it!**

**~Sid-Nilos**


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